I will, hand to God, have an MSSW in May of 2012. The following are some possible “alternative” ways to serve my community and put my post-graduate social work education to use.
1.Activity: Instillation Art/Construction. Relevant area of social work study: Feminism, theoretical perspectives, sarcasm.
Knoxville has the sunsphere. Situated in World’s Fair Park, The Sunphere is Knoxville’s own phallic downtown eyesore. Now me myself, I like a big useless building shaped like a penis just as much as the next feminist but (and I’m making an assumption here) I hope we can agree that female parts can represent downtown Knoxville just as well as male parts can. Female parts have always really gotten the shaft …. (see what I did there? read it again). So in the spirit of breaking that glass ceiling/emasculating Knoxville’s golden penis, I propose we organize a way to construct another equally large and useless monstrosity, except this will be basically two large round objects with circles inside of them- to represent boobs (naturally). This can be just as tasteful, subtle, and aesthetically pleasing as the Sunsphere (which sets the bar pretty low). Just two big ole boobies staring down the sunsphere to see who blinks first. (This experiment is also obviously evidenced based research/ final reckoning day for the work of Freud and everything he wrote about people’s body parts-which was virtually everything he wrote). Building boobs downtown and disproving psychosexual development is too ambitious? pish. posh.
2. Activity: Protest. Relevant area of social work study: Protest, shame, why you will never make fun of my blog again, sarcasm.
Apparently Knoxville has some pretty disgruntled labor workers who have taken to making huge banners to be publicly disgraced business involved in labor disputes. These protesters sit outside any given place with their umbrellas and their coats beside a big white sign that says in big red letters, “SHAME ON YOU CALHOUNS”. Now, you all can see clearly as I do that there is an obvious need to expand the use of the shame signs beyond just labor disputes. I prospose to research/execute a plan to get a hold of some of those to protest various things I think need protesting. Something like, “SHAME ON YOU CHICKFILA HATE MEAT”, (as I sit there chowing down on, i mean, a big ole order of waffle fries). Or it could be a birthday present, because, honestly, who doesn’t want to pull into work one morning and see me, posted up in the soccer field at the CLO, with an umbrella and a big gulp beside a banner that says “SHAME ON YOU STEPHEN BRADLEY JENNINGS” …” jen, what the fuck are you doing.” ”(mumbles) read the sign, asshole .. I'm shaming you." Now, I am still really unclear as to how this would happen, who would (wo)man the sign when I’m refiling my ketchup, just how one would piss of labor workers to the point of public humiliation, but apparently it cannot be that hard because those signs are everywhere. Maybe they’ll even let me keep some of them for posterity sake. not sure.
3. Activity: Moral depravity. Relevant area of social work study: Moral depravity.
If none of that pans out, I think I’d like to try my hand at a little moral depravity. Ya know, just for something different and my hedonism clock is tick-tocking away. I did not really experience the depth and breadth of “sowing my wild oats” and engage in regrettable youthful wreckless indiscretions that make great stories later. Evidently, I threw all my oats at Anne Lamott and school and following rules and bonding with my 3 friends that I actually liked. I think I just missed out on that the development stage of "being a wild ass" and I’m just experiencing some buyers remorse for my young adult responsibility. Sometimes I do legitimately wonder, did I miss anything at the 1 star bars in the middle of the night? There must be a reason why people put on those GAWD AWFUL unflattering uncomfortable clothes and get shitty 5 nights out of the week. For me, very often, social situations like that seem a lot more like something that feels like work than something that feels like fun. I think that whenever those girls were out buying the dresses so tight it cuts off their circulation and getting belly button pierced, someone evidently pulled them aside and told them something like, "Hey, listen, here is how you do this social stuff without being totally and completely awkward .. .and also, here is how you don't hate it". Maybe that is what that weird tattooed dude tells you before he crams that needle in your navel and then snorts a line of coke off the sterile instrument tray. I will find this gentleman and hasten to observe him in his natural habitat (Cool Beans, Electric Cowboy, Th’ Katch- except not that last one because I'm a feminist- see above). Just doing my part to keep my friends in some job security.
maybe I should volunteer to give the speech at graduation and read these ideas as serious proposals for future ventures. Don't know why not.
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