“Day by day nothing seems to change but pretty soon everything is different” Calvin and Hobbes
This past week I got done with the first year of grad school in the social work program. Finished the presentations and turned in papers and did two take home exams and …. then we all got done. At a monumental time like this, my feelings can be best expressed from a monologue from the super smash hit 90s blockbuster film Clueless:
“I’d like thank my parents, for never giving me a ride to school. The LA city bus driver, for taking a chance on an unknown kid and the fine people of McDonalds for making those little Egg McMuffins without which, I might have never been tardy” (DOES ANYONE ELSE REMEMBER THAT?)
Jump back to real life. SRSLY, I’d like to shout-out to owl Purdue, you ivy league birdy, for helping me through every single citation I’ve ever done and to the NASW Code of Ethics for keeping me honest. The year went by so fast even though some of those days felt soooo looonnng. I know I changed somewhere in there in probably lots of different ways, and I know I’ve met some great people in the program that I am thankful to know. Seriously, that has been by far the best part.
Right now, I am so thankful to have a break.
I remember at the beginning of the summer when I was a kid I would get so excited and literally think the long days of summer would never ever end. And this summer is especially sweet because I have a job that I like a stupid lot with people that I like a crazy lot too. More to the point, no school means no homework which means unknown and uncharted free time on nights and weekends. Without the structure of school sometimes (all the time) my tendency is to be lazy and do what comes easy-which is to lay around and daydream and wonder around downtown and sit in different coffee shops all the live long day while I thoroughly facebook stalk each and every one of you to my satisfaction.This is the thing about facespace- She/He/Shim/It and I have a real love/hate thing going. Sometimes the 'book and I are the two best friends anyone has ever seen. Facebook helps me get through those super long classes, helps me stalk people I may or may not know and helps me make you people think I am more clever than I actually am. But sometimes the facebook is super hateful to me and lets me sit around for HOURS and go through picture after picture AFTER PICTURE until I am convinced that there are at least 500 people who are just crusing through life being skinnier than me, writing funnier blogs than I write, getting married, having babies, taking great vacations, eating great food (that for some reason they choose to take pictures of- people eat. your. food). These people probably sleep 8 hours a night, never stutter, don’t apologize profusely and probably don’t drool on their pillows or lose their stuff ALL THE TIME. Point is, I sit there on the facebook and make up stories for every single one of you (and all of you have great lives, btw. You’re done very well for yourselves. Your mothers are proud) ... and that’s when the facespace starts to give me The Big Sads. AND what’s worse, is that I’ve now got netflix. That is the Crystal Meth of lazy people. So the point is I’m not very good at moderating myself or moderation in general and I come from a long line of people not good at moderation, those people being the human race. I need goals that function as little reminders of what I’m going to spend this sweet time during summer doing rather than totally wasting it. I need like a summer syllabus, of sorts. This syllabus is all about finding myself a rhythm, and I love me some rhythm. This rhythm is going to include more intentional time with friends by way of taking walks or making phone calls or writing snail mail. I will make trips to hobby lobby (Mecca) so I can learn to be more artsy fartsy (lifelong goal) , take more long runs downtown and read BOOKS.
SO here’s my summer syllabus ‘O Not-Wasting-My-Freetime-Fun.
1. Quit Smoking/ Keep running. I set a goal at the beginning of the year to run 4 5K’s this year- So far I’ve run 2 of the 4. Truth be told, I am just not a very good runner. My roommate of the mostest (who is actually is a good runner) wrote a blog about running and she said that even if you’re really no good at it, who cares. and who even knows. I used to hear people say that they LOVED running and I would think, I love the beach. I love really good nights sleep and cuddling and peanut butter but I do not love to RUN. I thought these mysterious people galloped and pranced and danced along the same pavement that made feel like that little place underneath my right rib was being repeatedly stabbed by a sharp object. But the more I do it, and the longer I go without my beloved ciggys, I find that I really do look forward to putting on my new running shoes and getting my rib stabbed. What I’m saying is, I’ve actually started to like it. And I literally NE-VAH thought that would be the case. So I’ll accept it as a gift that I’ve turned into “one of those people” and be thankful that will (hopefully) only get easier.
2. Rebind my bible- This is my teen study bible and it has been with me since freshman year of high school. Since that time, it has gone to church and parks here and there and all over the southeast, to Europe and the beach. If my bible could talk it would tell you all about the coffee stains and where the ink bled all over and how I love the beauty of the Old Testament in Isaiah and Psalms but not so much of the stuff about goats and pork and blood in Leviticus. It would also say, listen woman, is there no rest for the weary, plz just buy a new one. And I did that. Several new ones over the years but that Teen Study bible just has a special place in my little heart. It is the best of all Bibles. So I’m going to give it a little do-it-yourself- face lift and see if I can’t rebind with the help of some interweb directions and a pilgrimage to Hobby Lobby (moment of silence). It is and has always been my goal to be more artsy fartsy. I will possibly blog in the future about these endeavors. If they are successful. If they fail, I will never mention them again as to save face around the rest of you fabulous facebook people. duh.
3. Go to the Farmers Market. This makes me looooooove Knoxville. Saturday morning the summer time is the greatest of all mornings because I wake up and roll around in bed like a sloth for as long as I damn well please. I drink coffee and eat cereal out of the box with my fingers and finally put on some “I am a downtown dwelling, hobby lobby shopping, wanting to be hippier than I actually am twenty-something” outfit and walk to the Farmer’s market. and I find this
And This:
Thats Ferd Moyse IV from Hackensaw Boys and he is a treasure. He is sitting on a old suitcase that he’s using a kick drum with his right foot and kicking a tambourine that’s taped to his left foot while he plays the violin (which I’m sure he calls “the fiddle”) while he is singing. and I wish the blog could live stream the music because this just doesn’t do it justice. ‘twas awesome. I will buy food and spend time with Ferd and then spend Saturday afternoon cooking with some of these foods I buy there. Something with sweet potatoes or eggs or strawberries. Will let you have some iffen its edible. if not, see the end of #2.
4. TAN- The good ole fashion natural way too. By the pool being ever so precious with my besties. Boy oh Boy am I glad that I am not one of those poor unfortunate souls that gets talked into buying a package at the tanning bed and then decides she LIKES IT. That chick started keeping her plastic space-suit like eyewear in her purse all the time. That way, anytime she’s out after she’s bought herself her Sonic for happy hour she can suddenly decide she needs to tan, pull the car across three lanes of traffic on Kingston Pike all so she can fake-and-bake on demand. That girl is so shallow that the poor thing probably sits and looks at facebook until she wants to cry and talks about Sonic so much that people at school bring her sonic coupons. (As I take a long pull from my sonic happy hour diet cherry limeade) Man alive, people these days.
5. Find me man. This is a big one. ISO some boy who is social worky/bordering on socialist who loves Jesus and is wonderfully interesting and absolutely hilarious and plays music and has a beard and is looking for same. Except that boy is looking for a girl. (Me.) and I don’t play music. So. yeah. But he is probably already snatched up by one of you 500 girls (or guys. GAH) with beautiful and amazingly fabulous lives. or more likely, he’s probably found an Asian because if there’s one thing I know about guys, its that love Asian girls. Please explain this to much sometime that I haven’t already totally depressed myself looking at skinny people on facebook.
6. Read a whole buncha books. readreadreadreadread. I like to read but i have to tear myself away from facebook and stop daydreaming long enough to do that. And i really do like to run (kind of) but I have to remind myself of that every single day when i want to lay bed and stare up at the ceiling and let daydreaming movies play in my head.
Thanks for reading. This was long. You're a beautiful person. Ask me sometime about the movie I made up in my head about you while I looked at all 2048 pictures of you and your boo on facebook. I'll describe the entire feature length film. With Bloopers.
